Truth beneath the Lies
by OtakuIsLove
Summary: It was funny because the day I started to see Rima, like really see her for who she was, the day that I fell in love with her, she also saw him on a different light. RT/SS One-shot.


A/N: I'm back. Love Decoy is going to return shortly. After the long long wait. I promise you. I made this to make the wait bearable.

**Truth beneath the Lies**

I saw the postcard he sent her. He was on a blue beach with a tan Australian girl, they were hand in hand. I snorted as soon as I absorbed their smiles. It could get any worse. Of course he'd do that, send it here and hurt her feelings. It was such a subtle form of showing off and envy at the same time.

I didn't even know what he was showing off, that he and his pompous ass was in frigging Australia or that he was hand in hand with a tan lady. Whatever explanation there is to that, I couldn't care less.

I threw it away and I didn't even bother turning around as to where it landed.

Even before now, I could smell her. Her scent, the perfume she wears, the sound of her feet on the marble floor, it was sometimes disturbing. But when it stopped, I'd suddenly realize that I'd start missing those signs of hers. It was as if I was already bound to it, used to it. And notice some deficiency if it's absent. That was how much she grew on me.

I couldn't say the same thing on her though. She was sort of difficult. Like we were different kinds of magnets. We had the same form but we don't collide,ever. She was my best friend,yes. But sometimes, the problem with girl best friends is that your feelings for them could start it's transition. I didn't believe in that at first.

When I was 15, Kain told me to visit a certain girl and deliver her a note to which I complied. I was quite eager to do an errand that time. I had no clue that it was the girls' dormitory. Anyway, I had knocked on that door and there she was.

"May I help you?"

"I need this delivered to.." I bent down to read the name. "Rima Touya"

"It's me" she said.

I handed her the note . I didn't have much thought about her even after I met her. I think she was quite plain looking. But the strong one. The kind of girl that believe in principles,prove their self-worth and other things that gives pride to them. But as I had said, I didn't give it any deep musings.

"Thanks" then she started reading it. After a few moments, she looked up at me and stared hard. I shifted a little because I was uncomfortable.

"I shall go—" I mumbled.

But she was squealing like mad and hugged me for no particular reason.

"This is good news!" She exclaimed. "I got accepted in the school paper as writer!"

I didn't know how to respond so I sort of patted her back a bit. But I let go because it was very awkward. I just knew this orange haired girl okay?

"That's great" I said. "congrats."

Then she gave me a smile. Something that I'd never seen any girl wear before. So I was kind of surprised that I couldn't take my eyes off her face.

After that, we introduced ourselves and the rest was history.

All because of that stupid note.

Up unto that point, Rima and I had gotten somewhat close. Until, I actually accepted that my best friend was indeed a woman. It wasn't bad. It was great actually, I got to understand girls and their traits. I wasn't a fan of sexism. The truth is that, all that shit about Men are from Mars and girls are from Venus or whatever isn't true. It's a big fat lie. Can you imagine Rima and I having brains bundled up, only working for our own kind? I'd be fucked up.

It was sort of her rescue too. She _was_ rescuing me with her being. Her soul. I wouldn't be here wasting my time thinking about her if she isn't one. I'm not into dramatics actually, but what I'm saying is completely true. _It's impossible to live without her.._

Well,damn that thought.

There is a matter of conflict. Between me, who was beginning to sprout new feelings for her. And her, who 's feelings for Takuma was fully grown. It took me three years to realize that. Get it? _Three_.

Fuck.

She was smiling at him like that and all I could do all night was follow them with my eyes. It was hard to look because I'd feel as if I'd slowly die. But it was harder not to look because I would burn.

With jealousy.

I look at them and I think that the world was scintillating above them. It was annoying,stupid and ugly that I wanted to rip that stupid shiny thing and stomp it with my foot. I never saw her with that smile. _Never_. Maybe that thing wasn't meant for me.

They were talking and I was sure that I'd die to give anything just to know what their conversation is about. I was being irrational. Swayed by emotions, softened my occurrence. This never happened before. It was funny because the day I started to see Rima, like _really_ see her for who she was, the day that I fell _in love_ with her, she also saw him on a different light.

Funny how things does that sometimes.

"So you like him,don't you?" I asked her one night.

She turned to look at me. And her face fell, in that instance,I knew that she was waiting for him. I placed my hands calmly on my pockets and stared at her eyes.

"So?" I said. "how about it?"

It didn't matter. I was ready for the response.

She sighed. "I don't know Senri..I don't think I could say anything anymore about this.. but yes I do like him, he's everything that I want"

And just like that, I felt the pit of my stomach crumbling. It was very disorienting that I inhaled. I didn't know though, if I inhaled because I was surprised to hear that from her mouth. Or I was expecting it from her and I was ready for the blow. Yet the impact was more than I had ever expected.

This was a sad night.

I exhaled my breath and gave my best smile. "Well? What are you waiting for? The apocalypse? Go tell him then so that you could be together"

This was he worst pain. I'd do anything to disappear away from her but I was stuck. Of wanting to tell her how I feel and knowing how much love she holds for him.

She shook her head and stood up beside me. "It's not that easy Senri." then she touched my cheeks. "You should know. You're a boy"

"I do" I said. "I know how it feels. When I don't tell how I truly feel for somebody" then I touched her hand on my face. "Rima, just tell him before I explode.."

She smiled. "You're a great friend, you know that?"

I stared at her eyes and I wanted to tell her badly that I wanted to get lost in them.

"This is so difficult! Everything is just so new to me I don't know how to handle my feelings. I'd feel as if I'd die if I won't tell him but I think it's better if he doesn't know because I'm afraid that he'll avoid me if I do."

"tell him. Just make yourself be free of that heavy burden. You'd realize how carefree you'll feel after that and you'd be surprised if he'd take you differently than expected"

She nodded,tears glistening. I wanted to wipe it away.

"I love you Senri" she whispered. "you're my best friend"

I looked down at our shoes and muttered, "I've always loved you Rima."

I don't think she heard me because she was already asleep.

Sometimes, lying was a good thing. I was very good at that,even I, almost believed in it. Telling the truth was bad. And anyway, I almost forgot what the real thing was anyway because it got so clustered with my lies. With my conviction that I already am telling the truth, which is a lie. I,like most people, feared the truth.

Rima and Takuma finally got together. I avoided them as much as possible because I was afraid of what I could do if I was in the same room as them. I might accidentally succumb to what my core was really telling me, perhaps declaring the pain they had both inflicted me. I am a coward.

Besides, I could not betray my best friend's happiness. I would be a monster if I try to take it away from her. I realized the must crucial thing for me now is her happiness. Whatever that may be and whether or not it involves me.

She and I continued to be friends. But it was killing me, knowing that you were close. Like almost in reach but never touching. As if gravity has defied you or something and you always slip, always miss the touching point. It sometimes drive me mad.

She had followed my stupid advice but I can't even do it myself.

"Senri?" she said. "is something wrong?"

I look at her and she was this shiny glowing thing that makes your eyes blurry. I can rarely stare straight at her now.

"Nothing" I said.

"I can feel it you know. There's nothing to hide. We always tell each other our secrets"

I dropped my gaze to the floor. "Not this secret Rima. Sorry"

I heard her sigh. "Well I was hoping that I could help with that. But if you think it's really personal.. I won't pry you unto telling me"

"right"

One thing about her is that she was too good for her damn sake. I sometimes feel I don't deserve her..

"well I guess I have to go. Takuma said we'll meet up" she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and ran at the other direction.

Luck intervened. Sooner or later I knew that it would come. It was all that I had been waiting for. Two months after that conversation, I was walking on the hallway when I heard their voices in the left end.

I froze and listened.

"―Don't know why you're really doing this"

"I have to It's really important for me"

I heard sniffs. "Please don't go. I wouldn't know how to be happy without you here."

"Rima" his voice was a little stern. "I promise that I'll come back. Don't you trust me? I'm just telling you right now that maybe.. we should stop this for a while. Because I'll only hurt you if you'll keep waiting. What's this term humans use? cool off. I guess we have to do that for a while."

There was silence.

"You.. you think we should stop?" her voice was a little faint.

"It's temporary" he said, a little panicked. "I promise I'll come back after a year or so"

"Takuma.."

"don't you trust me?"

"I do. It's just that I think that YOU don't trust in me"

"I do" He said

"do you really? Or are you afraid? Is this about him―"

"This break up isn't about Senri Shiki" his voice was cold.

She huffed. "don't involve my best friend! He's always there for me even before you came"

"See! This is what I'm talking about. You're too protective of him."

"I don't get you at all Takuma, He's my friend. What do you think should I be doing to him?"

"nothing"

"you're right. We're nothing now." she suddenly exclaimed. "because I don't think I could ever have a relationship with someone who doesn't even respect my friend."

I untangled my feet and walked away. I wasn't able to sleep that night.

That was when I knew they were in wreckage. Was my brain really that powerful that Takuma sensed something? Of course that wasn't possible. It couldn't have.

It was three weeks after, that he went to Australia then. and a month later, which is today, that he sent me that postcard. That horribly awful postcard. That had a note that I should show it to Rima.

I wasn't stupid to do that.

Today, Rima and I continued to be the best of friends. Yet my feelings for her were still strong and tangible. It never gave up even if I already did. There were those moments where I would think that was a perfect moment for me to tell but I just didn't bring myself to say it. I was always a coward.

However, as I stood up before my computer, I saw a scribble of her handwriting in my notepad.

_It's easy to believe someone when they tell you exactly what you want to hear. I don't want to hear anymore lies. Tell me the secret. And don't ask me how I knew. -R._

I took it disbelievingly, my heartbeat rather fast. Then I dived for the postcard. The one of Takuma's where he was hand in hand with the tan woman. Then before I could think harder, I ran out the door.

I ran, exactly like three years ago where I was about to hand Rima a note. This time, I didn't know what to face. But I was ready to tell. I was ready to dig out my truth which was long overdue beneath my lies.

I knocked on her door. And there she was. The eighteen year old Rima. Who smiled when she saw me. I held her note above and said, "I will tell you. Everything"

she smiled and told me to come in.


End file.
